New Meaning

Wow, has it really been six months since my last entry! Even though I have thoughts (many thoughts) "oh I must blog" they never seem to get out of my head and onto this space. Partly because my time has been occupied with the day to day of managing life and routines with my youngest son and also partly wanting to write more than about battles and struggles that have become a part of my life.

I always look at the name of this blog "Every Color of Life" and reflect on it's meaning. Up to this point, it's focus has been about my youngest son and struggles with his condition. I do not have many entries, as I always struggled as how to share and what to share. I found that taking emails that I had already spent so much time in writing was the most easiest way to begin. These at least peeked into my- and - our- life until I really figured out what I wanted for this blog. I realize now that I want more for Every Color of Life, more than just one focus, after all I do call it "Every Color" and there are many colors to share.

Years ago my life crossed with another. A man who I fell in love with and who changed my life. Not because of things he did for me, but because of sharing life with me in a way that I had never experienced. He would hold me and tell me beautiful stories of life and philosophy. I thrived with his conversations and his deep understanding and views of life. Although I would only have this person in my life for one year it would be one that would mark a beginning of new life in me. He would talk to me about my life and explain that we should have no regrets, that every color is equally beautiful and to be equally enjoyed. This was so hard for me to understand as life thus far had been really really hard. Over time I was able to take on it's meaning and how hurt, pain, and failure, although not pleasant, are all experiences that we can benefit from. We benefit from them when we have no regrets. Right now that is what I am working on. I have come up against this feeling "again" and want to make this feeling a stepping stone to a deeper understanding of life as it is now.

To do this Every Color of Life will concentrate her writings on life and what she has learned along the way. I will continue to share my Jordan and his story - our story, but there will be branches to this with many colors to share along the way.

Until then....every color is equally beautiful and to be equally enjoyed.